Drifting: Thoughts

Lately, I feel that all that I've known for the past 6 years is crumbling around me. Ever since I picked up violin, I knew I wanted to go into music. Music this, music that. I was going to get a bachelor of music degree, I was going to teach music, I was going to start a strings school. I was even going to perform at Carnegie Hall. In fact, I'm still planning to do that last thing, but as far as college is concerned, I've changed my mind. No music.

I'm just TIRED of it.

I'm tired of messing up, I'm tired of having to work so hard for 6 years and not really be much better or have much more of a repertoire. I'm still going to play, yes, but I'm not planning on continuing the activities I've been involved in any longer. No more music lessons. I think I just need a break, really. Maybe I will want to continue taking lessons a little later on down the road... maybe I won't be so put off. But for now, after this semester, no more music.

Perhaps I won't go to college this year at all. Maybe I'll just continue my awesome job and focus on it for a little while. It's not wrong to drift around in life for a while. I think that was one of the things I grew up thinking: If you don't know what you're doing every minute of every day, it's wrong. Just a habit that needs to be thrown away. I've been wearing it long enough.

I'm thinking...
photography.
I've always loved it, and I've been told I'm good at it. I really enjoy it and think that my mind is creative enough to come up with good ideas; creative enough to have lots of customers. Maybe I'll go into a partnership with someone who wants a partner. That'd be neat. :) I'd enjoy that. I love to edit photos just as much as I love taking them, so perhaps someone will need a photo-editor. Now... for a camera. :)

I want a Nikon, but I'm not yet sure which kind. Randi has a d80, which I've used and I love it... Or maybe I'll get a Minolta. They're both nice and sturdy.

Just my thoughts on drifting.

I'll be doing a lot of it in the near future.