Would You Like to Play the Guitar?

Would you like to play the guitar?
Carry money home in a jar
From a coffeehouse or a bar,
Or would you rather get a job?


A job is the thing that makes you get out of bed
And work every day until you're dead.
Your back is achin' and your brain is numb
And you just can't wait until the weekend comes.
But if you don't want to starve or beg or rob
You're gonna have to get a job


Or would you like to play the guitar?
Drive for miles and miles in your car
And pretend that you're a big star?
Or would you rather book the gig?


The agent's the guy who takes his twenty percent.
What he says isn't always what he meant.
He'll clean you out in ways you never thought
Because he's good at business and he knows you're not.
And then he'll sue if you ever make it big
Cause he's the guy who booked the gig.


Or would you like to play the guitar
For a living ~ hardee-har-har!
I'll admit it's kind of bizarre.
Or would you rather be the wife?


The wife is the one who has to rescue our butts.
She's either a saint or else she's nuts.
She gets impatient and she gets annoyed
Cause she's the one who must remain employed.
And by the way if you want to wreck your life
Become a gittar player's wife


Cause all the monkeys aren't in the zoo.
They can be trained to play guitar too.
Some do a whole lot better than you.
But even if you don't go far
You could be worse off than you are.
At least you're playing your guitar.